Love, Sex, and Other Drugs: The Bullsh*t They Come With

Let’s talk about the messy truth of love and sex—because, honestly, no one ever tells you how complicated it can be. Society and movies like to sell us a fantasy where everything’s perfect: the love is eternal, the sex is mind-blowing, and the relationships just work. But anyone who’s lived through the ups and downs knows that love, sex, and the “other drugs” that come with them are far messier than we’ve been led to believe. And frankly, the bullshit they come with can get exhausting.

If you’ve ever found yourself wondering whether you’re chasing real connection or just another fleeting high, this blog is for you.

The Love “High”: Is It Real or Just a Fix?

We’ve all been there—the overwhelming rush when you first fall for someone. Your heart races, your palms sweat, and for a few weeks, everything feels like magic. Your brain releases dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin—the “feel-good” chemicals that make love feel like an addictive high.

But here’s the thing: that “high” is temporary. What happens when it fades and you’re left with a person, with flaws, with unmet needs, and an emotional hangover? It’s easy to mistake infatuation for genuine love, especially when you’re caught in the whirlwind of hormones and excitement.

At some point, you have to ask yourself: Are you in love with the person, or are you just addicted to the rush of feeling wanted, desired, or validated?

Sex: The Instant Gratification Trap

Let’s not sugarcoat it—sex can feel damn good. It releases a flood of chemicals that make us feel alive, desired, and connected. But when sex is used solely as a form of instant gratification, it loses its depth. Too often, we seek sex as a way to fill emotional voids, cope with loneliness, or escape from reality.

But guess what? That temporary high doesn’t last. And soon enough, we’re left with feelings of emptiness, confusion, or worse—regret. The whole "one-night stand" or "casual fling" might sound fun, but what are we really avoiding by turning to sex as a quick fix?

The problem with sex as an emotional crutch is that it keeps us from facing the deeper issues we’re running from—whether that’s fear of intimacy, unresolved trauma, or a lack of self-worth. It’s a cycle that can be hard to break, but here’s the harsh truth: until you address the underlying emotional baggage, you’ll keep running to sex for a high that ultimately leaves you unfulfilled.

The Other Drugs: The Emotional Addiction We Don’t Talk About

But let’s not forget about the other “drugs” we use to numb the pain or fill the gaps. Love, sex, and relationships can become emotional addictions if we’re not careful. Some of the common “drugs” we rely on include:

• Validation: Seeking constant reassurance that we’re lovable, attractive, or desirable. We get hooked on the compliments and affirmations, only to realize we never feel good enough unless we hear them from others.

• Codependency: Getting so emotionally wrapped up in someone else’s needs and problems that we lose sight of our own. This is the emotional “fix” where we believe we need to save others to feel worthy of love.

• Romantic Fantasies: Buying into the fantasy that a perfect relationship or partner will “complete” us. We fall for the “love story” we’ve seen in movies and convince ourselves it’s the standard. Spoiler alert: it’s not.

• Drama and Chaos: Sometimes, we get addicted to the chaos in relationships. We thrive on the ups and downs, the drama, because it gives us something to feel. The problem is, it’s unsustainable. Eventually, it burns out, leaving you wondering if it was all worth it.

The Hard Truth: Love and Sex Aren’t Always Magic

I’m going to say it: love and sex aren’t magic. The sooner you realize that, the better. They require work, communication, compromise, and a lot of uncomfortable growth. If you’re looking for perfection or instant gratification, you’ll only end up disappointed.

There are going to be days when you don’t feel the rush of excitement. Days when love feels like a choice, not a fairy tale. And that’s okay. True love isn’t about the highs—it’s about the everyday decisions to show up, to be vulnerable, and to build something real. The same goes for sex. It’s not about performing or achieving the “perfect” moment; it’s about connection, trust, and mutual respect.

Breaking the Cycle: How to Stop Chasing the High

So how do we break free from the addiction to love, sex, and the emotional highs? First, we have to acknowledge the bullshit. We have to stop chasing fleeting moments and start focusing on building real connections—ones that aren’t based on instant gratification or the fantasy of what love should be.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

• Stop Chasing Validation: You have to learn to validate yourself before you seek it from others. The approval of others is fleeting—your self-worth needs to come from within.

• Embrace Vulnerability: True connection happens when we show our real selves, not the polished versions we want others to see. It’s messy, uncomfortable, and real. But that’s where intimacy grows.

• Build Emotional Awareness: Instead of running to sex or love for an emotional fix, take time to understand your feelings. What are you really seeking in relationships? What are you afraid of?

• Prioritize Meaningful Connections: Build relationships based on communication, trust, and respect. Don’t settle for just the highs; seek out the deep, fulfilling connection that comes from sharing your authentic self.

Final Thoughts: Real Love is Worth the Effort

Love, sex, and the emotions they stir up are complicated. But they don’t have to be as messy and chaotic as society often makes them out to be. Once you stop chasing the highs and face the deeper, more meaningful aspects of connection, you’ll find that real love isn’t a quick fix. It’s a slow burn, something you have to work at and nurture over time.

So, let’s stop pretending. Let’s stop using love, sex, and the bullshit that comes with them as temporary fixes for deeper issues. Let’s get real about what it takes to build something lasting, something meaningful.

And maybe, just maybe, we’ll finally understand that the true high comes not from the fleeting rush, but from the depth of a connection built on trust, vulnerability, and shared growth.