The Wholeness Paradox: Navigating the Maze of Memory and Emotion

One of the worst emotional feelings? That nagging sense of not being whole. It sneaks up on you, an overwhelming, exhausting wave that leaves you adrift in a sea of confusion. Suddenly, it feels like you’ve lost your way, like you’re wandering through a perplexing maze with no exit in sight. And let me tell you, your brain can be your best ally or your worst enemy in these moments.

Going through physical or emotional trauma can be daunting. It makes you feel as though you have no control, like a ship lost in a storm—which can be the root cause of that feeling of not being whole. At times, it feels as if no one understands what you’re going through—it’s easier said than done, I know. You must learn to rediscover yourself, and that takes time. Be patient and kind to yourself; you’re doing the best you can.

To grow, we must adapt. Even when the desire to disappear is tempting—trust me, I wake up some days wishing to vanish into thin air—we must allow ourselves to be seen. It’s a universal struggle; I believe we all face those days when we feel like shadows of our former selves.

Memories are powerful windows into our pasts. They can fill us with joy or overwhelm us with grief. Some memories are shared treasures, while others feel like solitary burdens. Sometimes, it takes a village to navigate those feelings of incompleteness, but at other times, it’s just you and your thoughts. In those moments, you are your own village.

Protecting yourself is crucial, and sometimes love just isn’t enough to get you through. Surrounding yourself with friends and family can provide a cushion, but remember: you hold the key to your own healing.

Did you know that memories are subjective? There’s no universal truth to confirm which are real and which are merely figments of our imagination. This is why you can't let them control you—just guide you. As David Eagleman said, “The brain is the most complicated organ in the body, and the human brain is the most complicated organ in the most complicated body.” V.S. Ramachandran adds, “The brain is the most complex structure in the universe, and it holds the key to the secrets of our existence.”

In my opinion, your brain doesn’t just feel emotions; it experiences them. My blog is a collection of lessons learned through the lens of my memories—both good and bad. You can take those memories and turn them into your greatest allies, even the ones that haunt you. It’s about learning to adapt to your new normal after your brain has seemingly betrayed you.

Two Tips to Help You Adapt: Let Go and Let Live

1. Let Go: This doesn’t mean you have to forget what happened or brush your feelings aside. Instead, it’s about releasing the hold that certain memories or emotions have over you. Acknowledge your feelings, but don’t let them define you. Write down what you need to let go of and then find a meaningful way to release it—be it through journaling, art, or even a small ceremony.

2. Let Live: Once you’ve let go, allow yourself to live fully in the present. This means embracing new experiences, building connections, and focusing on what brings you joy. It’s about giving yourself permission to thrive despite the shadows of your past and present. Find activities that nourish your spirit and connect with people who uplift you.

You are literally the master of your brain—your own universe. Yes, I call the brain the Universe because, like the cosmos, it’s powerful and filled with mysteries waiting to be unraveled. For those of us who feel our brain has betrayed us, it often feels like Cast Away, and the only person who truly understands what we’re going through is our pet rock. I may not be a neurosurgeon, but I firmly believe the brain is the Willy Wonka of our bodies. Those who get to explore it for a living truly have the golden ticket.

So, embrace the chaos. Allow yourself to feel the feelings, share the memories, and remember: you are never truly alone in this vast universe of thought and emotion.